Between biopsies

A lot happened between biopsy one in the doctor's office and biopsy three at the hospital (besides biopsy two I mean).

We got pregnant twice. One ended in miscarriage. We started trying to get pregnant a little sooner that recommeneded after the miscarriage because of the upcoming first biopsy. The second pregnancy, of course, turned out to be Lucy.

I also went through a lot of moods.

At first I was convinced I had cancer and was angry that the doctor could not find a way to confirm it.

Then I became convinced I was just some sort of freak with wacky PSA.

Then I swung back to cancer again.

After the third biopsy samples came back positive, we didn't have a lot of time to think about anything. The doctor immediately swept us into the system and we were under the knife in about a month. It would have been sooner but they wanted me to bank my own blood.

After the operation, I became convinced that I didn't really have cancer and that the doctor was just trying to justify all the procedures.

Now, I am convinced that I did have cancer and that I was extremely lucky to have doctors who kept searching diligently.

The odd thing about my prostate cancer is that I had no symptoms. The only suffering I did came directly from the surgery and its aftermath.

With the rectal cancer I have now, I know something is going on. I can feel it – although lately it has been feeling better –

And I have seen it both in the picture behind the link and in a CAT scan.

There is no doubt about this cancer, but I am still hoping somebody made a horrible mistake.

More about the surgery prep in my next installment.